_The Tellie
The Tellie tells us what to do
From movies and cafés, to choosing shampoo
Of what movies to see and catchy songs
And how to beat that cold and soldier on.
The Tellie tells me who I am
A well-groomed lad – a modern man
With Myers slacks and Bert’s plugged hair
And out chasing chicks with the Bundy Bear!
The Tellie tell us how to vote
Not him, but him, ’cos he’s a good bloke
We got Mr Potato Head and his motley crew
Not Advance Australia Fair but Australia Zoo!
The Tellie tells us who can - and can’t - sing
about poor Todd’s saga with that bloody ring
We see odd couples prancing instead of dancing
Soapies enthrall us (yawn) with endless romancing.
The Tellie tells us all the news
Civil wars, road deaths, Hetty’s views
Upsides, downsides, sporting losses
The endless bleating of our Canberra tossers.
The Tellie tells us that we’re obese
Then tries to sell us pizza with cheese
Ads flogging Coke, plastic burgers with fries
All salt, all sugar – the kids are upsized!
The Tellie tells us why we won’t last
haemorrhoids, cancer, terrorist blasts
Dams drying up, green gases aloft
I gave it up - turned the bloody thing off!
Now the missus tells me what to do
How to think, who I am - all the gossip, too
She wants ceilings painted, doors fixed, pictures hung, toilets cleaned, shed tidied, car washed, windows hosed, gutter cleaned, fence mended and (whew) the lawn de-grubbed
Bugger this – I’m off to the pub!
The Tellie tells us what to do
From movies and cafés, to choosing shampoo
Of what movies to see and catchy songs
And how to beat that cold and soldier on.
The Tellie tells me who I am
A well-groomed lad – a modern man
With Myers slacks and Bert’s plugged hair
And out chasing chicks with the Bundy Bear!
The Tellie tell us how to vote
Not him, but him, ’cos he’s a good bloke
We got Mr Potato Head and his motley crew
Not Advance Australia Fair but Australia Zoo!
The Tellie tells us who can - and can’t - sing
about poor Todd’s saga with that bloody ring
We see odd couples prancing instead of dancing
Soapies enthrall us (yawn) with endless romancing.
The Tellie tells us all the news
Civil wars, road deaths, Hetty’s views
Upsides, downsides, sporting losses
The endless bleating of our Canberra tossers.
The Tellie tells us that we’re obese
Then tries to sell us pizza with cheese
Ads flogging Coke, plastic burgers with fries
All salt, all sugar – the kids are upsized!
The Tellie tells us why we won’t last
haemorrhoids, cancer, terrorist blasts
Dams drying up, green gases aloft
I gave it up - turned the bloody thing off!
Now the missus tells me what to do
How to think, who I am - all the gossip, too
She wants ceilings painted, doors fixed, pictures hung, toilets cleaned, shed tidied, car washed, windows hosed, gutter cleaned, fence mended and (whew) the lawn de-grubbed
Bugger this – I’m off to the pub!
