ian mcdougall
  • Ian McDougall
    • Background
    • Humbled by Honour
  • Projects
    • Bloke's Lounge
    • Mentoring >
      • He said, she said
      • Helping the Homeless in more ways than one
    • Save the Post Box
    • Racism
  • Articles
    • MUSICAL MADNESS
    • MY EARLY CARS
    • This (mechanical) life
    • The Thorpe Ascension
    • Goolie grippers
    • Bewdy Bonza guide to Australia
    • Wine descriptors
    • Notes for shop assistants
  • McDoggerel
    • Political >
      • WAR IS A WHORE
      • Joe Hockey
      • Blue Ties
      • Kevin, The Musical
      • LNPeeing in their own next
      • Flegg flogged
      • Your Job
      • We're Shot to Shit
      • Can Do (A Political Pantomime)
      • Bwuce Almighty
      • Election in the Air
      • What The Hell
      • How 'ard?
      • Parly rap
      • About face, about facing the truth
    • Social issues >
      • On The Streets
      • Ready & Able
      • Where I Live
      • Telephone font
    • Here Be Demons >
      • The Truth Comes Out
      • Yeah mate, I know
      • Dread Head
      • Sometimes
      • Black Dog Barking
      • Bark you black dog
    • Other >
      • My car
      • Bloody lawn
      • Night noise
      • The Dunny
      • My Kind of Blue
      • THE CHRISTMAS FRIDGE
      • Kiss Me
      • The Stick
      • Magpie mornings
      • Delhi belly
      • Hinkum booby
      • GRIEF IS THE PRICE OF LOVE
      • Darts for Old Farts
      • Surfers ain't paradise
      • The March
      • CALLIPYGOUS
      • Bangalow Markets
      • Meanderthals
      • Four small words
      • Bessie
      • The Devil Drives a Prado
      • Desert Dawn 1991
      • Your Mobile Phone
      • Your Honour
      • The Tellie
      • I Hate The Train
    • Haiku >
      • Blokey haiku
      • Hospital haiku
      • Other haiku
  • People
    • Surf legend
    • On ya bike, Mal!
    • VALE >
      • Vale: Roger Crook
      • Vale: Nev Brough
      • Vale: Ron Dix
      • Vale: Joan Small
      • Vale: Dal Withers
    • Lieut Clarry McDougall MC >
      • Race meeting at the front
      • March to the Rhine
      • Daybreak surprise
      • Cooyar Cenotaph unveiled
    • J.F. McDougall - Queenslander >
      • J.F. McDougall - family stuff
    • Partners in Recovery >
      • Getting it out there
      • Funky postcards hit the streets
      • Phil's pouches popular
      • New life for Naomi
      • There's magic in music
      • Lessons from the edge of darkness
      • Crafting a future
      • From misery to happiness
      • Dominique - Shades of day
    • Book People >
      • Matthew on road to recovery
      • #1 Kevin Jones
      • #2 Melissa and Ann
      • #3 David Oldfield
      • #4 Multicultural moments
      • #5 Peter Burt
      • #6 Brendan Lauritz
      • #7 Matthew's mutt
      • #8 Dal loves his Wilburs
      • #9 Books found
      • #10 New shoes, new vigour, new hope
      • #11 Up there for thinking
      • #12 Jo's lessons
      • #13 Cowboy takes teens on reality ride
  • Out & about
  • Grumpy Old Fart
_Ready and able

Every day I face the long way round
Just to do my shopping in the town
’cos if there’s one thing about these chairs
they don’t much handle any sort of stairs
I sit at the bottom looking towards the sky
Or perched at the top, trying not to cry
When I ask for help but only get a passing frown
I often wish someone would just shove me down!

You look at me all queer
Or right on past me … as if I’m not here
Why, oh why, can you not see
Beyond my perceived disability

When you hear a slow click, click, clicking behind you
No it ain’t a stalker, it’s just me ’n’ my clumsy walker
on my feet I’m all unsteady, but I’ll
get to where I’m going when I’m ready
Because amid the hustle and bustle
I’m happy with my shuffle
if it takes an hour or two, that’ll do me
…. what about you?

Just because I’m blind doesn’t mean I can’t see
I’m not speechless and I can hear
so chat to my dog and tweak his ear
but don’t forget you can talk to me.
I might be deaf but I know what you’re feeling
Your movements, your eyes all betray
What I go through every day
That it’s dealing with me you want to elude
Hey mate, it’s time to change your attitude

Why, oh why, can you not see
Beyond my perceived disability

My head is great (thanks for asking, mate)
But about lower down I can’t say
heard a crunching sound when I got speared into the ground
and I’ve not felt a thing since that day
surgeons say it mightn’t be so tragic
’cos with every day comes medical magic
but I seem to rely more on prayers than hope
at other times wishing I could loop a rope.

I wobble when I walk and I dribble when I talk
I love a drink, like sharing jokes
… and if no-one’s watching, maybe a smoke
I cheer at the footy and cry at the news
I can put forward my personal views. (aside: Swann? What a wanker!)
I can keep a secret … and tell a few, too
So come on over, pull up a pew
We can talk about sport, global warming and rates
And before you know it, we’ll be old mates.

It’s amazing the many things you see
When you look beyond my perceived disability

I’m just a grown up girl living in a children’s world
My face looks rather funny ’n’ me nose is often runny
and life for me’s a different place to be
mostly it’s full of wonder
even when I make a blunder
But I get the shits when you stare at my tits
and don’t say a word to me

Why, oh why, can you not see
Beyond my perceived disability

was a normal sorta bloke before I had a stroke
now, someone’s got to fed me
and to dress me and relieve me
I pee myself and poop me pants
You’d never think I dream of romance
Can’t get out a word, so it cannot be heard
that I’ve got the hots for my carer.
I’m sure she knows, ’cos it sticks out and shows
when she strips off my clothes for a shower!

I see you cringe when I have a swearing binge
or jump and down and throw things round
but because I am autistic, I often go ballistic, so
imagine how it feels to deal with me all the time.
I’m a roller coasting cruise of ever-ranging moods,
When I’m good, I ain’t so good
when I’m bad, I’m bloody awful.
It’s a nightmare that never ends and which doctors cannot mend
And it’s driven both my parents around the bend.

Put your mind in another space
And imagine yourself taking my place
Then, only then, you might get to see
Beyond my perceived disability.

© eoin macdhugail 2007



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