ian mcdougall
  • Ian McDougall
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  • Articles
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  • McDoggerel
    • Political >
      • WAR IS A WHORE
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      • Can Do (A Political Pantomime)
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      • What The Hell
      • How 'ard?
      • Parly rap
      • About face, about facing the truth
    • Social issues >
      • On The Streets
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      • Where I Live
      • Telephone font
    • Here Be Demons >
      • The Truth Comes Out
      • Yeah mate, I know
      • Dread Head
      • Sometimes
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      • Bark you black dog
    • Other >
      • My car
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      • The Dunny
      • My Kind of Blue
      • THE CHRISTMAS FRIDGE
      • Kiss Me
      • The Stick
      • Magpie mornings
      • Delhi belly
      • Hinkum booby
      • GRIEF IS THE PRICE OF LOVE
      • Darts for Old Farts
      • Surfers ain't paradise
      • The March
      • CALLIPYGOUS
      • Bangalow Markets
      • Meanderthals
      • Four small words
      • Bessie
      • The Devil Drives a Prado
      • Desert Dawn 1991
      • Your Mobile Phone
      • Your Honour
      • The Tellie
      • I Hate The Train
    • Haiku >
      • Blokey haiku
      • Hospital haiku
      • Other haiku
  • People
    • Surf legend
    • On ya bike, Mal!
    • VALE >
      • Vale: Roger Crook
      • Vale: Nev Brough
      • Vale: Ron Dix
      • Vale: Joan Small
      • Vale: Dal Withers
    • Lieut Clarry McDougall MC >
      • Race meeting at the front
      • March to the Rhine
      • Daybreak surprise
      • Cooyar Cenotaph unveiled
    • J.F. McDougall - Queenslander >
      • J.F. McDougall - family stuff
    • Partners in Recovery >
      • Getting it out there
      • Funky postcards hit the streets
      • Phil's pouches popular
      • New life for Naomi
      • There's magic in music
      • Lessons from the edge of darkness
      • Crafting a future
      • From misery to happiness
      • Dominique - Shades of day
    • Book People >
      • Matthew on road to recovery
      • #1 Kevin Jones
      • #2 Melissa and Ann
      • #3 David Oldfield
      • #4 Multicultural moments
      • #5 Peter Burt
      • #6 Brendan Lauritz
      • #7 Matthew's mutt
      • #8 Dal loves his Wilburs
      • #9 Books found
      • #10 New shoes, new vigour, new hope
      • #11 Up there for thinking
      • #12 Jo's lessons
      • #13 Cowboy takes teens on reality ride
  • Out & about
  • Grumpy Old Fart
Pictureforum.skyscraperpage image
The Bombay Express

The train, the train, I hate the train

We fidget in groups, as the morning sun greets
Ready to claw and fight for the few empty seats
the scores who miss out left to squash in the aisles
while the lucky ones strap hang and sway for miles.

The noise, the noise, I hate the noise

The young folk board, new mobiles on show
Testing 21 ring tones --- only three to go!
Others stare vacantly with iPods blaring
while unsettled readers start cursing and swearing.

The people, the people, I hate the people.

They grumble, they pong, they’re bald and hairy
There’s dandruff littered backs and men dressed like fairies
The prim, the proper, the perfumed tarts
And unwashed men with stale beer farts

The train, the train, I hate the train

With one seat free, you doze ‘cos you’re zonked
Until a space-stealing fat arse down beside you plonks
Bored public servants packed in like sardines
With jolt-awake snores disturbing their dreams.

The youth, the youth, they’re so uncouth

Punkers and emos and goths all in black
With cadaver cosmetics, they posture in packs
Just like the Myers staff who skulk ’round the store
They adopt a blank look and choose to ignore

The people, the people, I’m one of those people

What gives me the right to have a whinge.
To draw attention to the cultural cringe
well, mainly because when the fat lady sings
I have been guilty of most of these things.

© eoin macdhugail 07


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