ian mcdougall
  • Ian McDougall
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    • Social issues >
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    • Haiku >
      • Blokey haiku
      • Hospital haiku
      • Other haiku
  • People
    • Surf legend
    • On ya bike, Mal!
    • VALE >
      • Vale: Roger Crook
      • Vale: Nev Brough
      • Vale: Ron Dix
      • Vale: Joan Small
      • Vale: Dal Withers
    • Lieut Clarry McDougall MC >
      • Race meeting at the front
      • March to the Rhine
      • Daybreak surprise
      • Cooyar Cenotaph unveiled
    • J.F. McDougall - Queenslander >
      • J.F. McDougall - family stuff
    • Partners in Recovery >
      • Getting it out there
      • Funky postcards hit the streets
      • Phil's pouches popular
      • New life for Naomi
      • There's magic in music
      • Lessons from the edge of darkness
      • Crafting a future
      • From misery to happiness
      • Dominique - Shades of day
    • Book People >
      • Matthew on road to recovery
      • #1 Kevin Jones
      • #2 Melissa and Ann
      • #3 David Oldfield
      • #4 Multicultural moments
      • #5 Peter Burt
      • #6 Brendan Lauritz
      • #7 Matthew's mutt
      • #8 Dal loves his Wilburs
      • #9 Books found
      • #10 New shoes, new vigour, new hope
      • #11 Up there for thinking
      • #12 Jo's lessons
      • #13 Cowboy takes teens on reality ride
  • Out & about
  • Grumpy Old Fart
Picture
Hospital haiku

Called ambos to take me to hospital in March 2013 for what I thought was a heart scare – turned out it wasn’t heart related but because of my cardiac history, they did an angiogram and while there popped in a preventative/precautionary stent so I also did the rehab program.

Boom ticky boom, ticky boom
Ticky boom, ticky boom, ticky boom, ticky boom boom boom
Well, goodness gracious me.

Hey, get them lights flashin’,
pump up the siren, clear the traffic
I wanna travel in style!

Beeps. Pings. Lights.
Wavy lines like a seismograph
Something’s happenin’ here

Canulas, cords
lines and cables every which way
Mr Bo Tangles

Nurse in cargo pants
Bum you could crack and egg on
heart rate peaks

Stroke, diabetes, depression, deaf
Two resuscitations just this week
old mate opposite’s a fighter

Sister - sorry, RN - has trouble
avoiding valves in vein
Ouch - canula insertion

Tummy is a grumblin’
and I feel like a long, cool drink
Nil by mouth!

Rare moment of quiet
Bewdy, I think I’ll have a doze.
Nurses' pop-up party!

Canula extraction
blood seeps through bandage
oops! Student nurse

Shaved and showered
waiting, waiting, waiting for the wardie
long list for theatre

Paper panties, backless gown
Hey, does my bum look big in this?
rub-a-dub scrubs

All cheek and chit chat
then wake up somewhere else.
Ah, anaesthetic

Hose to heart, via groin
inky pictures show the flow
coronary angiogram

Like a candle
her smile brings warmth and comfort
Nurse Nightingale

Lukewarm canteen coffee
meat tough, bread which nurses call rusks
appetite suppressant

Soapy soup set aside
untouched main dish, supposed to be fish
I’M STILL HUNGRY!

Single room, with a view
I’ve even got a pot to piss in
Private health care

Up down, side to side
up down, side to side, rinse, spit
Ah, fresh mouth!

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