From misery to happiness
Leah with her storyboard facilitated by Ozcare's Sandra Bale
Leah, a former aggressive and violent abuser who lives with mental illness, recently met with Ozcare’s Sandra Bale, a facilitator with the Partners in Recovery program, and Debby Hughes, Mental Health Support Worker, to review her background so Sandra could draw up a story board as part of Leah’s recovery process.
I sit in and write people’s stories and return them for checking. This is Leah’s story, told her way.
* * *
Leah spoke about her upbringing, which had greatly affected her mental health. On many occasions during her childhood, safety measures which could have been taken, weren’t.
Sandra records Leah’s achievements and actions that she is taking to improve her quality of life. The board also lists things that Leah has learned along her journey to recovery.
Sandra has been working with Leah for some time now. Leah trusts her, completely.
Leah is the youngest of three children having an older brother and sister.
Her father came from a violent background. He was a violent man, beating her mother continually as well as the children, particularly her brother. Leah’s family were scarred and scared.
Leah said some time ago that as a child she prayed that someone would kill her father so that the pain and hurt would stop.
Her mother’s second husband, also from a dysfunctional family, was verbally abusive, so once again violence continued.
Leah’s first marriage ended in divorce. By age 30, she became a single parent to a three-year-old daughter. Her older sister “married into a ‘normal’ family where she was loved and supported”. Her brother, who has anger issues, never married.
Leah took on her father’s behaviours and abused her daughter throughout her childhood, not realising that her words and actions would scar her for life. Finally at age 29, her daughter said she no longer wanted Leah in her life. For her daughter’s sake, Leah wished her daughter had left 25 years earlier so that she wouldn’t have to suffer any abuse.
After losing her daughter, Leah became a hermit.
For seven years Leah spent 23 hours a day in her bedroom knowing that she couldn’t hurt anyone. She only went out to go to the doctor, chemist and supermarket.
In 2010, when Leah was at the lowest point in her life and needed help, she was admitted to a mental hospital. After leaving hospital, Leah retreated into her shell and resumed her hermit existence. She had the same old stories going around in her head.
Leah finally resorted to God and asked for his help and guidance; she didn’t want to live in the past any longer. Not long after, Leah saw a television news report about the Gold Coast launch of Partners in Recovery and referred herself.
The first person Leah met was Sandra Bale, who offered support, comfort and genuine care. Leah knew that after for 35 years of looking she had finally found the help she needed.
“It is so important knowing someone is genuinely listening to your story,’ Leah said.
In 1996 Leah was diagnosed as being bipolar.
“Something was terribly wrong; I was violent, angry, abusive and very unhappy,” Leah said. “These behaviours were passed on to me by my father. I told my daughter to back away (for her safety) anytime I got nasty. Afterwards I’d reflect on how I’d hurt people and how I’d hurt myself by behaving in these destructive ways.”
PIR suggested that Leah begin her recovery by seeing a new psychiatrist. Leah’s first thought was ‘not again’’ she was so tired of telling her story. She had seen so many psychologists and medical people over 35 years, but knew she needed help.
Leah trusted Sandra and it was Sandra’s encouragement that motivated Leah. The psychiatrist said he didn't believe that Leah was bipolar, but rather had emotional dysregulation because of her childhood environment. She didn't know how to handle emotions and was extremely sensitive to rejection.
I sit in and write people’s stories and return them for checking. This is Leah’s story, told her way.
* * *
Leah spoke about her upbringing, which had greatly affected her mental health. On many occasions during her childhood, safety measures which could have been taken, weren’t.
Sandra records Leah’s achievements and actions that she is taking to improve her quality of life. The board also lists things that Leah has learned along her journey to recovery.
Sandra has been working with Leah for some time now. Leah trusts her, completely.
Leah is the youngest of three children having an older brother and sister.
Her father came from a violent background. He was a violent man, beating her mother continually as well as the children, particularly her brother. Leah’s family were scarred and scared.
Leah said some time ago that as a child she prayed that someone would kill her father so that the pain and hurt would stop.
Her mother’s second husband, also from a dysfunctional family, was verbally abusive, so once again violence continued.
Leah’s first marriage ended in divorce. By age 30, she became a single parent to a three-year-old daughter. Her older sister “married into a ‘normal’ family where she was loved and supported”. Her brother, who has anger issues, never married.
Leah took on her father’s behaviours and abused her daughter throughout her childhood, not realising that her words and actions would scar her for life. Finally at age 29, her daughter said she no longer wanted Leah in her life. For her daughter’s sake, Leah wished her daughter had left 25 years earlier so that she wouldn’t have to suffer any abuse.
After losing her daughter, Leah became a hermit.
For seven years Leah spent 23 hours a day in her bedroom knowing that she couldn’t hurt anyone. She only went out to go to the doctor, chemist and supermarket.
In 2010, when Leah was at the lowest point in her life and needed help, she was admitted to a mental hospital. After leaving hospital, Leah retreated into her shell and resumed her hermit existence. She had the same old stories going around in her head.
Leah finally resorted to God and asked for his help and guidance; she didn’t want to live in the past any longer. Not long after, Leah saw a television news report about the Gold Coast launch of Partners in Recovery and referred herself.
The first person Leah met was Sandra Bale, who offered support, comfort and genuine care. Leah knew that after for 35 years of looking she had finally found the help she needed.
“It is so important knowing someone is genuinely listening to your story,’ Leah said.
In 1996 Leah was diagnosed as being bipolar.
“Something was terribly wrong; I was violent, angry, abusive and very unhappy,” Leah said. “These behaviours were passed on to me by my father. I told my daughter to back away (for her safety) anytime I got nasty. Afterwards I’d reflect on how I’d hurt people and how I’d hurt myself by behaving in these destructive ways.”
PIR suggested that Leah begin her recovery by seeing a new psychiatrist. Leah’s first thought was ‘not again’’ she was so tired of telling her story. She had seen so many psychologists and medical people over 35 years, but knew she needed help.
Leah trusted Sandra and it was Sandra’s encouragement that motivated Leah. The psychiatrist said he didn't believe that Leah was bipolar, but rather had emotional dysregulation because of her childhood environment. She didn't know how to handle emotions and was extremely sensitive to rejection.
Leah was told that her unacceptable behaviours were learned behaviours; she had become a product of her environment. Her psychologist asked her which area of her life she would like to work on first. Leah said “anger”.
Sandra: “Leah needed to be reintroduced into the community. She had sleep apnoea and insomnia. Her personal and household hygiene slipped, which can be symptomatic of mental illness.”
Leah had low self-esteem. It was easy to say no to invitations to socialise and she didn’t socialise at home. Her home was cluttered, a reflection of what was happening in her life and her mind. Leah knew that if she was going to be helped she had to let the professionals at PIR and Ozcare see her living environment.
Sandra: “There’s stuff everywhere. When I first visited I had to shimmy sideways down the hall. The bedroom was chockers, with only a small spot on the bed to sit.” Sandra has offered to arrange help to declutter Leah’s home.
At Sandra’s recommendation, Leah did a seven-week Sense-of-Self program where she learned a lot of valuable information.
“As a former abuser I went into sessions with others who had been abused so what I was saying could have been confronting,” she said. “But it was a safe environment where everyone shared their story.”
Leah has met many interesting people through PIR and OzCare, attending different workshops and forums. Leah enjoys the social aspect of this process in her recovery journey.
Leah’s angry, aggressive and violent behaviour were learned from childhood through three generations. She is continually developing a range of tools to help her learn acceptable and healthy behaviours.
One of her favourite quotes is: “Where the mind goes, the man follows”.
“If you think anger and violence, this is how you live,” Leah said. “I am thinking love, joy, harmony and peace. Most importantly, I am practicing being kind to myself and to others.
“Through Sandra, PIR offers me a variety of professional help – psychiatrist, psychologist, general practitioner, financial counsellor, social worker – as well as opportunities to socialise. I now have insight and a broader knowledge of how to access help for living with mental health.
“I have lifted my self-esteem, respect, pride and confidence. PIR offers me a safe place to speak my mind without judgement”.
Leah greatly appreciates the value and importance of having people in her life.
Sandra: “Leah needed to be reintroduced into the community. She had sleep apnoea and insomnia. Her personal and household hygiene slipped, which can be symptomatic of mental illness.”
Leah had low self-esteem. It was easy to say no to invitations to socialise and she didn’t socialise at home. Her home was cluttered, a reflection of what was happening in her life and her mind. Leah knew that if she was going to be helped she had to let the professionals at PIR and Ozcare see her living environment.
Sandra: “There’s stuff everywhere. When I first visited I had to shimmy sideways down the hall. The bedroom was chockers, with only a small spot on the bed to sit.” Sandra has offered to arrange help to declutter Leah’s home.
At Sandra’s recommendation, Leah did a seven-week Sense-of-Self program where she learned a lot of valuable information.
“As a former abuser I went into sessions with others who had been abused so what I was saying could have been confronting,” she said. “But it was a safe environment where everyone shared their story.”
Leah has met many interesting people through PIR and OzCare, attending different workshops and forums. Leah enjoys the social aspect of this process in her recovery journey.
Leah’s angry, aggressive and violent behaviour were learned from childhood through three generations. She is continually developing a range of tools to help her learn acceptable and healthy behaviours.
One of her favourite quotes is: “Where the mind goes, the man follows”.
“If you think anger and violence, this is how you live,” Leah said. “I am thinking love, joy, harmony and peace. Most importantly, I am practicing being kind to myself and to others.
“Through Sandra, PIR offers me a variety of professional help – psychiatrist, psychologist, general practitioner, financial counsellor, social worker – as well as opportunities to socialise. I now have insight and a broader knowledge of how to access help for living with mental health.
“I have lifted my self-esteem, respect, pride and confidence. PIR offers me a safe place to speak my mind without judgement”.
Leah greatly appreciates the value and importance of having people in her life.
