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Bonza Bewdy Bottla guide to Australia

Immigrants and new arrivals have trouble coming to grips with our version of The Queen's English, our lingo and nuances. Here's a brief guide for newbies.

Australians – Aussies – generally speak in short to medium length phrases, generally five words or less, no sentences.

It’s a very male language riding over from the days when European Australia – or rather, and I hate admitting this, New South Wales, the original and indisputable state of origin – was the destination of choice {NOT!} for Irish, Scottish, Welsh and English men and women, mainly men.

It’s a bloke’s language. So no apologies for what follows.

So let’s start with the basics.

1 word:

G’day. Crikey. Rippa. Tinnie. Wally. Poofta! (Note: the words Wally and poofta should never be used together, nor in the same sentence, or even on the same day).

2 words:

G’day mate. Rippa tune. Bull…shit. Nice tits. Bloody hell. Piss off. The Gabba. Lang Park. Ya poofta!

3 words:

How they hangin’? Got any beer? You blind, ref? No bloody way. Ya bloody poofta!

4 words:

JHownbare they hangin'? Get ya gear off. Show us ya tits. How about a bit? Get this into ya (also applies to beer). Your bloody shout, mate. Piss off, ya poofta!

5 words:

Stick it up ya arse. How the F are ya? Have a go, ya mug. Where are ya specs, ref?. Piss of ya ’ken poofta!

6 or more words:

Here we get into some folkisms … under-the influencisms!

Fair suck of the old sav. Dry as a dead dingo’s donga. Better than poke in the eye with a burnt stick. I’m so hungry I could eat the arse out of a maggoty fox. S’pose a f’s out of the question? What the eff ya doin’ wearin’ a pink shirt? You’ve got two dicks, mate – you couldn’t be that silly pulling one. There are three things I hate: custard, mustard and you, ya big turd. What are ya ref, a bloody poofta?

Of course, in North Queensland in particular, these phrases are generally extended by adding ‘eh’/ ‘ay’.

Mate:
(This is done as a demo/performance piece)

There is no more important word in Australia than ‘mate’. It is used often and widely to any and all people and in all situations. Practise saying this word with the various inflections.

Greetings - G’day mate; How ya going’, mate.
Attention: Oi, mate.
To borrow something: Ma-ate
Anger: Listen here, MATE!
Sympathy: Awh, maaate (hands taps shoulder but no other close personal contact)

Blokes. A B word.

Aussie have thing about the letter B – it features in just about everything that we hold dear to our hearts.

Geography: The Beach. The Bush. The Blue Mountains. Bondi.
Everyday life: Beer. Blowies. Bullshit. Bewdy.
In our adjectives: Bloody. Bonza. Bottla.
In our swearing: Bloody. Bastard, Bugger. Bitch. Boofhead.
In our women: The Body. Bloody hell look at the boobs on….
In our sporting heroes: Bradman. Boonie. Brooke.

Funnily, though, we mostly borrow tunes from other nations for our sports. Simply The Best. I Get Knocked Down. My favourite (sung to Campdown races): Fulton (insert hated player/coach of choice) takes it up the arse, doo dah, doo dah.

The exceptions, of course, are Come on Aussie, come on come on, and Up There, Cazaly; Football, Meat Pies, Kangaroos and Holden Cars (questionable – could have been ‘borrowed’ from a Chevrolet campaign, but the yanks could have pinched our idea)

We also sing en masse, more like a chant really: “Howard’s a wanker, Howard’s a wanker.”

Chanting is an important part of a lot of Australian humour, emerging mainly at sporting grounds.

At the Gabba few years back, a service vehicle was parked in an isolated spot where the chance of it interfering with a ball or blocking anyone’s view was minimal.

Not so to the crowd on the hill. They started chanting: “shift the effin truck, shift the effin truck” and went on and on and on until one official became worried enough to radio in to have the truck shifted during the tea break.

It was. There were no cheers from the Hill. Not even a word. Immediately play resumed, the chant started afresh: “Bring back the effin truck, bring back the effin truck”.

B is also a letter of significance to Queenslanders, well at least the sporting people in the south east corner: The Broncos, Bulls and former Bullets, Bandits and Blazers.

Remember your state of origin. Remember the Q word.


QUEENSLANDER.

QUEENSLANDER.

* * *
Point your finger to the sky
Tilt your head and wink your eye.
It’s the favourite way to say G’day
In Australia’s country towns.

Chorus from Country Towns © Michael O’Sullivan


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